How many times have you been asked “What’s wrong with you?” How many times have you asked yourself the same question? If you continually ask yourself the question, “what’s wrong with you?” your brain will do it’s best to come up with an answer. What might you believe about yourself if you’re asked the question often enough? You end up with a belief that there must be something wrong with you.
Many of us have taken on the belief that there must be something wrong with us and we spend thousands of dollars on personal develop and healing trying to fix the things that we think are wrong with us. Yet maybe it all started from that question being asked again and again.
When you were a child and a parent came upon you crying they may have asked, “What’s wrong?” in a caring tone of voice. But what about the times when you had done something wrong and the tone of voice changed to anger and accusation? That tone of voice gave a whole different meaning to the question.
The initial question may then have been followed by some other disempowering accusations such as “What are you, stupid or something? Are you thick? Are you trying to make me angry?” None of these questions are going to help your brain come to any good conclusions about yourself.
Repeated over and over, these questions install beliefs in us that rarely have anything to do with the truth about you.
To apply EFT to this belief, ideally you would identify a memory of when you have been asked that question that still had some intensity. Maybe there are many memories where you can hear that question being asked. If so, just imagine a scene that contains elements that are common across many of the memories such as people, place, tone of voice, and look on someone’s face. Or maybe you can get a sense of how your body feels when you say the phrase, “what’s wrong with you?” Is your body tense and defensive? Does your breath catch in your throat? Are you flinching, ready for more punishment?
Write down the memories, compilation of memories, and body sensations that you feel and then starting tapping using the EFT tapping points guide:
|Even though I’ve been asked many times, what’s wrong with you?”, and my brain has come to believe that there’s something wrong with me, I want to love and accept myself as I am right now.
Even though I’ve asked myself the question, “what’s wrong with you?” many times and often subconsciously, I’m now noticing when I do it and asking myself some better questions.
Even though I have always found lots of answers to this question that reinforced the belief that something is wrong with me, I’m now ready to question that belief.
|Top of Head:||This belief that something is wrong with me|
|Eyebrows:||All the times I’ve been asked, “What’s wrong with you?”|
|Side of Eyes:||All the times I’ve asked myself, “What’s wrong with you?”|
|Under Eyes||Maybe I should ask, “What’s wrong with the belief that there’s something wrong with me?”|
|Under Nose:||The impact this question has had on me|
|Chin Point:||I remember the tone of voice when I was asked, “What’s wrong with you?” I still use that tone myself sometimes.|
|Collarbones:||I remember the look on their face when they asked, “What’s wrong with you?”|
|Under Arms:||This feeling in my body when I think of being asked, “What’s wrong with you?” or, “What’s wrong with me?”|
|Wrists:||I’m ready to ask some better quality questions to myself, about myself, to others, and about others.|
Continue for another round.
|Top of Head:||Maybe I’ll start asking, “What’s right with you?”|
|Eyebrows:||How does it feel to ask, “What’s right with you?” or, “What’s right with me?”|
|Side of Eyes:||Is it OK to focus on what’s right with me?|
|Under Eyes||If I no longer focus on what’s wrong with me, if I let those old angry voices fade in my mind, what can I turn my full attention to?|
|Under Nose:||I wonder how I would start noticing that I’ve let go of that old belief that something is wrong with me and am taking on a better quality of belief.|
|Chin Point:||If I didn’t believe that there was something wrong with me, what could I believe about myself instead?|
|Collarbones:||What would someone else notice about me if I took on this new belief?|
|Under Arms:||How would I treat myself and others differently as I accept this new belief into my system?|
|Wrists:||I’m beginning to notice what’s right with me even more every day. And if that old voice comes back, I choose to be gentle with myself as I notice myself asking that old question, stop myself right then, and ask myself a better question.|
Now trying asking the question, “What’s wrong with you?” out loud and see what you notice is different from what you wrote down at the start. Have the memories changed in some way? Continue on for at least 5-10 rounds of EFT to get as many different aspects as you can.
Tapping Tip: You might have noticed that I use a lot of questions while tapping. Because the mind will do it’s best to find answer to questions, and doubly so when tapping, it’s a great way to cause the mind to make new connections.
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