When you’re getting started with EFT its easy to become concerned over using the “right words” while tapping. I’m often ask “what are the right words to use” for ailments such as grief, shoulder pain, smoking, etc. etc. etc. The answer is that there are no exact phrases to use for anything. There is no official “language library” for EFT because the use of effective language is an art that improves with experience.
You can use EFT to overcome the need to find the perfect words by tapping on the need to be perfect.
Newcomers can be very effective by simply aiming the language at the problem (e.g. Even though I have this [headache ... craving for a cigarette ... fear of father's voice in the kitchen, etc.]). The more specific you get with the issue the better. Use language that describes how you feel, where the feelings are in your body, or even just tell the story of a specific event multiple times while tapping.
The words are mainly about keeping you focused on the issue that you’re working on and can also involve reframes, questions, intuition, affirmations, and so much more. The artful use of language is part of the “art of delivery” that you pay an EFT Practitioner for. You can learn more about this art of delivery from the rich library of articles on this site or by attending the Tap4Health EFT seminars.