And some of us, me included, bottle it up until it bursts out like a volcano surprising everyone around us with the intensity because we had not even given a hint that anything was wrong.

I’m going to focus on the last pattern as this is one that I can speak about from personal experience. As a child, I had been labelled as having “a bad temper” at times but, if I accept this label, then I give away my responsibility for control of my behaviour. We are not the victim of our emotions. There are patterns to every emotion that, if we can identify them, we can interrupt the pattern and change our behaviour before it causes the damage we so fear.

So how does your pattern of anger develop?

I delivered an outburst of anger one evening with my family that stunned everyone. But it wasn’t as instantaneous as it may have seemed. The anger had been brewing throughout the day from one incident early in the day which annoyed me. Another a little later on that added to the fire. And from then on I was looking for an excuse to unload at the slightest further provocation. So when I received one further barb, an oh so minor one, I unloaded with full power that was equivalent to swatting a fly with a barbell.

Had I taken the time to apply EFT at the first perceived slight and got deep into and under the anger then I may have been able to voice my concerns with out the associated outburst.

Here I present a longer EFT script that I hope will help you as it did me to change your anger pattern. I spent at least half an hour using the various parts of this to work on my anger pattern.

First you need to start with how you feel in yourself about the anger. Start and continue tapping on the EFT tapping points while saying the phrases:

Continue to tap for a few rounds to cover everything you feel and say about and to yourself about how you behaved.

Now we will use EFT to work on the pattern around the anger.

Noticing how your anger builds helps unravel the mystery of full blown explosions that nobody sees coming. You then have the ability to notice what is triggering your anger and clear those individual triggers. Maybe it’s a tone of voice or a look you receive which starts to get you angry. So do some tapping on the trigger e.g.

There may be more than one trigger to your anger so continue to tap on each trigger that contributes to your anger pattern.

You may still have shame, guilt, and regret about what happened so here is a final round to do some more clearing.

We cannot deny our emotions as they are part of what makes us human but we can change the patterns, triggers and ways that we express them.Related Posts:

• What’s wrong with you?
• Anger Disguises and Anger Management Spectrum
• Release Christmas Gathering Stress
• Procrastination: Break the habit with EFT
• Using EFT for when You’re Always Running Late

Please remember that a Doctor is only giving you their opinion. It is not a fact. A Doctor’s opinion though is often interpreted with such power that if a Doctor says a patient only has 3 months to live, then they die exactly 3 months to the day of the diagnosis. We believe them so completely.

This recent article of successful cancer remission shows yet again that Doctor’s can be wrong. I know the Doctor’s have to tell you their diagnosis because they are bound by a duty of care but how many times do they have to be wrong before they stop stating their diagnosis as a fact? And how long before we stop believing their diagnosis as an absolute truth? I have previous written on how using EFT with a Doctor’s diagnosis can allow you to break it’s voodoo impact.

I truly admire the woman in the above article for her determination to break through the fears and challenges of both the cancer and it’s treatment. This story should be in the headlines on every newspaper and TV channel.Related Posts:

• Using EFT with a Doctor’s Diagnosis
• Why some clients do not tap even when they know EFT will help them
• Fear of EFT Working
• Progress with a Social Phobic
• What’s wrong with you?

Because of the unorthodox structure of my sessions as compared to mainstream therapy, James had come to feel comfortable with me and the first real breakthrough came when I gave him permission to tap on something without having to explain it to me. We tapped together as he cried for a good 15 minutes without words and then he exclaimed, “It feels like you just saved my life!” He mentioned his mother was involved but I did not press for more details at the time.

In our most recent session, James was still reluctant to answer questions. What he did share was that he really had not expected anything to change or work because he really didn’t want it to. (Psychological Reversal anyone?). The only reason he had been turning up to the sessions was because he had paid for them. This was even after he had experienced the previous significant release.

I had James lead me through several rounds of tapping with him making up the phrases which included things like:

“This won’t work”
“Nothing ever changes”
“Nothing will work”
“Nothing ever does”
“I don’t want things to change”

and then a subtle shift occurred…

“I don’t have to change”
“I’m fine the way I am”
“There’s nothing wrong with me”

This is a huge cognitive shift after years of being told that something was wrong with him.

After this round of tapping, I asked James some questions about “How will you notice a small improvement in your interaction with others?”

Again, he was reluctant to answer and explained that he felt trapped behind a barrier with part of him wanting to get out from the barrier and invest himself in a conversation and part of him feeling safe there. We tapped around the desire to stay within the barrier and the desire to interact with others and accepting the conflict within.

After some time exploring the barrier, a light came on in James’ eyes and he shared that he always kept barriers up against questions because his mother had always asked him lots of intrusive, shaming and frustrating question. His whole way of interacting with others was based around avoiding having to answer questions. It was the fear of having to answer questions that kept his defences up. My previous questioning to get to the deeper issues only triggered this defensive pattern.

With this insight, I tapped along with James as he explored all the feelings of his mother asking him “impossible, shaming” questions. I reminded him that he had permission to tap without explanation. He would only say words out loud if he wanted to, otherwise I just kept following him along as he tapped. It took several rounds with an occasional “this is not going to change anything” thrown in.

At the end of the session, James had a look of real peace on his face and was grateful to feel the changes in himself. He was hopeful and optimistic about how things would be different.

Originally published in Gary Craig’s EFT Insights Newsletter.Related Posts:

• Helping Children with Dyslexia with EFT
• Tips on Finding the Root Cause of an Emotion
• What’s wrong with you?
• Fear of EFT Working
• Learning English or any Second Language