But life doesn’t seem to work like that. We fumble around trying different things, doing different jobs, different relationships, going to seminars and workshops, doing vision quests and still hoping for our purpose to drop in to our lap.

A few years ago, I came across an article in a newsletter by Marcus Buckingham that really helped me let go of the idea of discovering my purpose in a one-off moment of epiphany. He boldly stated,

“Goals, dreams, and vision are important, but they do not provide the answer to living a fulfilling life.

Pay attention to those activities, instances and events in life that fill you up; that teach you, guide you and sustain you. Like small flames, they can be fanned into bigger fires with a little attention. Your strongest life is built through a continuous practice of designing moment by moment.”

Are you registering this moment and what it is about this moment that is filling you up and nurturing you, even a little bit? Or are you watching reruns in your mind of the past, or continuously visioning the future because the present moment is not giving you any sustenance.

From this simple statement, I have developed my own personal strategy for happiness which boils down to “Try lots of things. Notice the stuff you like. Find ways to have more of that stuff and less of the other stuff you don’t like.”

Even if you are in a dead end job now, is there anything, even the smallest thing, about that job that you enjoy? Yes, going home at the end of the day can be included but what else? Maybe it’s the satisfaction of seeing a clean floor or cup. Maybe it’s brightening someone’s day with a smile as you serve their coffee. Maybe it’s the team meeting once a week where you get to have a laugh in amongst all the seriousness of the rest of the week. Maybe its getting the accounts to balance. Pay attention. Notice the moments where you experience event the slightest joy, happiness, or satisfaction.

Buckingham concluded with

“Moments matter most. Build off of a few strong moments, follow the path they lay out for you, and trust your direction. They will not let you down.”

If you still feel like you haven’t found your purpose, the following EFT tapping may help you let go of the idea of finding it “out there” and instead help you focus on the moments that are happening right here and now that are giving hints to build on.

Try saying the following Setup phrases while tapping on the karate chop point:
“Even though I haven’t yet found my purpose; the years and months keep rolling by; sometimes I feel so lost; not belonging or fitting in; I want to deeply and completely accept myself and the journey that has brought me to this moment.
Even though I might not like where I am right now, I feel like I’m wasting my life sometimes; that I’m missing out on something important; I acknowledge these feelings right here, right now.
Even though it would be nice to find my gift-wrapped purpose and be free of all this uncertainty, I wonder if I could be open to noticing what nourishes and fulfils me even a little bit right now.”

Tapping through the remaining EFT tapping points, moving on the next point after each phrase:

• I want to feel on purpose
• I want to know what I should be doing
• I want to know that I’m on the right track
• Instead of feeling lost and fumbling around in the dark.
• If only I knew what my purpose was then I would feel happier, more fulfilled
• What can I begin to notice today about the things I do enjoy?
• What moments of the day do I feel most fulfilled?
• Is it Ok if I never consciously know my true purpose?
• Even though I think I should know, I should be able to figure it out…
• I should be able to-tune in to it intuitively
• I choose to be gentle and compassionate with myself as I explore my life for the moments that matter
• And focus on having more of those.

Remember to continue doing rounds of EFT adjusting the words to the thoughts and feelings that a coming up.

Leave a comment about what insights this post gave you about your life’s purpose.

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• What works for you? Pay attention.
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Remember that you can tap in positive feelings after you have significantly cleared and tapped on the negatives feelings that you have around events and issues.

If you’re feeling good for no apparent reason, don’t over analyse it, instead just do a few rounds of tapping to help your system really absorb and integrate that feeling. It’s like letting your body and mind know that you want more of this please!

Related posts:

• How are you really feeling? Words for your emotions part 1/3
• The EFT Discovery Statement and Positive Emotions
• Self Confidence & Feeling Like an Imposter

This may be annoyingly simple for those of us who have spent lots of money on self-help and therapy but you do have to appreciate the simplicity and that it puts the responsibility directly with us to keep making changes rather than expecting something external to us to change instead.

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• The Solutions Focus: Making Coaching and Change Simple
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Is there someone in your life that could use this type of validation? Maybe even yourself?

Please enjoy (running time 16 minutes):

No related posts.

The cause of all negative emotions is a disruption in the body’s energy system — Gary Craig

When I was teaching my last EFT Fundamentals seminar and sharing this definition with the students, it got me wondering about how we might describe positive emotions with respect to our energy system. It is one thing to remove a “disruption in our energy system” to clear a negative emotion but what does our energy system have to do with positive emotions?

I posted this question for discussion on the EFT Community Forums and also on Facebook to see what others thought about this seeming limitation with the EFT Discovery statement to describe how positive emotions are experienced.

Some of the responses suggest that we could tap in positive emotions after we had cleared the negative which I certainly have found is true (see Dr. Patricia Carrington’s Choices Method). But this did not give me an explanation for what caused the positive emotions in the first place.

Others suggested that the only requirement to feel positive emotions was to clear all negative emotions, all disruptions in our energy system, and then we would naturally feel positive emotions. This highlighted an assumption of mine which is that there is something extra we need to do to feel good beyond just clearing all the negative stuff.

Getting closer to what I wanted, which is a working definition that I can use to explain both positive and negative emotions, was the idea that we feel negative emotions when our energies aren’t flowing well and feel positive emotions when our energies flow freely. So positive emotions could be explained as free flowing energies.

So can you suggest a replacement for the EFT Discovery Statement which explains both positive and negative emotions? Maybe EFT is the best tool for clearing negative emotions, events, and experiences, but others tools are more suited to create positive emotions. Share your thoughts in the comments.

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