What works for you is a solutions-focused question that moves you into a different way of thinking. It helps you focus on and notice what your own unique solutions are. Your own unique solutions may not be the same as everyone else’s and they may not be same as touted by such-and-such an expert. Figuring out what works for you requires you to become an expert on your own life. And this requires paying attention.

For example, there are thousands of diets out there each claiming that they will produce miraculous results. Yet most of these diets work well for a percentage of people but not everyone. That’s because we each have a unique metabolic type that determines the balance of carbohydrates and proteins that we need to eat, how fast our bodies metabolise sugar, and how often we need to eat. You metabolic type also determines the type of exercise and what time of day to exercise will work best for you.

If you pay attention to how you feel 1 hour after a meal (e.g. are you alert or unfocused, are you hungry again or not, are you emotionally stable or experiencing mood swings) and you experiment with different combinations of foods, size of portions, time between feeds, then over time you can figure out the way to eat and what to eat that best suits you.

This does require attention and careful observation which sometimes seems too much trouble so we search for a quick answer from the latest magazine diet, book, TV expert, or Google.

But this post is not just about your diet.

What about what works for you in terms of being creative or getting your best work done? Are you most creative in the mornings or the evenings? Again this requires attention and experimentation. I know from experience that I’m much better at writing things in the morning, like I’m doing right now, than later in the afternoon or at night. After lunch, I know that I’m better at tasks that don’t require creativity or focus and concentration. Are there some times of day which suit you better for writing and others that suit you for making phone calls?

What about relationships? You know there are ways to broach subjects with those you care about that can lead to useful discussions and there are ways to pick a fight. Become conscious of what happens when you say things in a certain way, with a certain tone of voice, using certain words. Is this being manipulative? That depends on the intention with which you enter into the conversation. If you intention is to ‘get your own way’ then yes it is manipulative (think children) but if you intention is to enjoy the relationship in the best way possible then it is more about love.

What stops us from paying attention?

Western lifestyles, in general, are full of noise and distractions. From the moment we wake up in the morning to the time we close our eyes at night we are immersed in a sea of noise and distraction. The radio wakes us up, the TV is on in the background, the kids are screaming the back yard, the radio is on the car going to work, there are phones calls and emails to answer, meals to cook, errands and shopping to be done, etc (feel exhausted, yet? Sorry.) Tibetan Buddhism actual calls this “Western busyness”.

So how can we use EFT to help increase our ability to pay attention within the noisiness of everyday life?

Identify an area of your life that you want to focus and pay attention to. Maybe it’s your eating habits, your creativity, or your relationship with someone. Most likely it is something that is weaved throughout your day.

When you have identified a specific area, use this EFT tapping guide and tap along as follows:

Continue for another round.

After tapping the above sequence, you may have come up with your own ideas that will help you notice what works. It could be things like keeping a diary, making notes in your mobile phone or sending yourself emails. Let me know how paying attention has helped you in the comments.Related Posts:

• Are you an expert on your problem or your solution?
• The Solutions Focus: Making Coaching and Change Simple
• How would you know things were getting better?
• Take a Solutions-Focused Approach to Your Goals Audio Program
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