Here is a list of over 170 words from the Centre for Nonviolent Communication that describes what you are feeling when you needs are not being satisfied. The words are grouped by the major emotions. Use this list to get specific about exactly what you are feeling by finding words that feel right for you to then apply EFT tapping around this feeling.

Related Posts:

• How good are you feeling? Words for your emotions part 2/3
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• Learning English or any Second Language
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• Anger Disguises and Anger Management Spectrum

SFBT, developed by Steve de Shazer and Insoo Kim Berg, is a simple yet powerful approach based on identifying what you want, where evidence of the solution is appearing in your life already, and what would be externally observable signs of progress.

SFBT is based on the idea that no problems occurs always all the time. Even for an alcoholic, there are some days when they drink less than others so investigate what is different about those days when the problem is less and do more of that as opposed to searching through your past to find the reason that may or may not be the cause of the behaviour.

SFBT’s efficacy is well established and supported by a solid and ever increasing body of research. Solution-focused thinking is widely accepted in the fields of therapy, social care, education and business. This book, The Solutions Focus: Making Coaching and Change Simple, was my original introduction to solutions-focused thinking.

EFT, in my opinion, in unparalleled in its ability to heal past events such as trauma and abuse and I find combining SFBT with EFT is incredibly effective when moving forward into the future. I have found it useful in areas such as business improvements, wealth creation, depression, serious disease and weight loss. Here are some of the insights I achieve when I applied one of the questions to issues around money.

The standard EFT approach to achieving your goals is to search in your past for events that have lead to limiting beliefs (“writing on your walls”) that are holding you back from want you want. This is based on Gary Craig’s NLP training which the concept of limiting beliefs is a part of.

But how long to you keep looking in the past for answers? Focusing on the past can itself be used as a diversion from taking real action to move you towards what you want. SFBT helps identify small concrete signs that you are actually making progress.

Listen to the Solutions-Focused podcast at EFT Q & A and check out the other top-quality podcasts at EFT Q & A. One of my personal favourites is the one on Sensitive Temperaments by Rue Hass.Related Posts:

• Take a Solutions-Focused Approach to Your Goals Audio Program
• How would you know things were getting better?
• Are you an expert on your problem or your solution?
• How to be happy: therapy distilled to its most basic.
• The Solutions Focus: Making Coaching and Change Simple

I get most client enquiries from men for anger management yet one of the best reference books I have for patterns of anger is called Healing Rage:Women Making Inner Peace Possible by Ruth King. The book helps you identify your primary anger disguises and gives you a number of practices for healing this rage. EFT, when combined with these practices, can yield to fantastic results.

Anger disguises include behaviours such as:

• Dominance
• Defiance
• Distraction
• Devotion
• Depression
• Dependence

Ruth King‘s book is from many years of experience in working with women and anger. When I talked to her about how I related to many of the patterns as a man, Ruth said that she could not claim experience with men as she had not worked with them over the years; yet we are all human and feel the same emotions.

Rage is a strong word for anger. It is at the most intense end of the spectrum of this emotion. There is a long path from peeved, annoyed, aggravated, …, angry,…, enraged. Most of us don’t use the words that can help us identify where we are on this spectrum.

Next time you are feeling angry see if you can identify where you are on a scale from 1 – 10 where 1 is peeved or miffed, and 10 is full blown insane rage. Making this distinction helps identify what actions you can take to break the pattern of anger.Related Posts:

• Anger Management with EFT
• What’s wrong with you?
• Get Started on Global Issues with a Brain Dump
• Take a Solutions-Focused Approach to Your Goals Audio Program
• Don’t Watch the News

This morning, as I went to shave, I got a nudge to muscle test (kinesiology) about the shaving creme I was using.

I normally only shaved with shaving oil but I bought some cheap home brand razors that just kept getting clogged so started using the shaving creme because then I could use the whole bag of razors. My shaving creme is one that comes in an aerosol and foams when squirted into the hand. So I’ve been using it for the better part of a month now; the month in which I have had the worst thoughts.

I muscle tested this morning that shaving creme was causing my depression and obsessive thinking and it tested true! I also tested that it would take about a week for the effects of the creme to leave my system so still have to battle through another week. I used soap on top of the oil this morning instead and was still able to use the razors.

So, you might want to experiment with not using the shaving creme for a couple of weeks and see what happens to you thoughts and feelings.Related Posts:

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No wonder people are turning to alternatives such as EFT which actually delivers results with better than 80% success rates.Related Posts:

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• Successful Tapping for Cravings Trial
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When clients first come to me with a general issue such as sadness or depression, I find it useful to start out general and let the story unfold layer by layer.

For example, if you’re feeling sad, then start tapping on “Even thought I feel sad,…” After a few rounds ask yourself questions about why you feel sad. The answer might be “Because I’m single”. So do some tapping on “Even though I’m sad because I’m single,…” Then explore the issues around why you’re single at this point in time. This may then lead to more feelings and some memories and beliefs.

Be gentle with yourself as you explore an issue.

You can tap without words but it helps accentuate the feeling, and clear it, if you can put some words around it.Related Posts:

• What words do I say when using EFT for…?
• Get Started on Global Issues with a Brain Dump
• What’s wrong with you?
• Progress with a Social Phobic
• EFT Tips: Tapping Without Words

“The need to remain consistent with our identity is the strongest force in the human psyche.”
– Anthony Robbins

Your identity defines and constrains. Pay attention to you language both internal and external for statements that begin with “I am …”. Statements that begin with “I am …” are identity statements, for example:

I am a firefighter
I am a mother
I am a loner
I am an engineer
I am middle-aged
I am over the hill
I am a man
I am a victim of …

Each of these statements, some empowering, some disempowering, defines and constrains our identity. Pay attention to your conversations and listen for how you define yourself.

If you find an identity statement that is disempowering then you can apply EFT to it by making the identity statement part of the set up:

“Even though I’m an engineer who can’t trust his intuition, I choose to trust my intuition ”

“Even though I’m a single mother and don’t have time for relationships, I choose to love and accept myself”

“Even though I’m a victim of abuse, I can use this as an excuse to fail or motivation to succeed”

You may need to explore all the aspects of the identify statement using some form of brain dump to get to specific issues. Then dilligently apply EFT on each of the individual aspects.Related Posts:

• Why some clients do not tap even when they know EFT will help them
• Fear of what will other people will think of me?
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• Releasing 14 years of Grief and Trauma

I’m curious, how does watching or hearing the news makes you feel: fearful, sad, depressed, helpless, frustrated, angry, suspicious? Are these the emotions you really want to consistently condition into your energy system?

Yes there is the very occasional snippet of good news amongst all the death, crime, politics, and bloodshed but it is very much in the minority.

I often hear from people that you have to watch the news so that you know what’s going on in the world. My response to this statement is “why?” Of the many things that are presented to us in the News, very few affect us directly and, more importantly, are within our sphere of influence to do something about. If we can’t do anything about what is being presented this brings up the feelings of frustration, anger, guilt, fear etc.

I’m not saying to stick your head in the sand and ignore what is going on in the wider world. I am saying that you need to consciously guard against the negative conditioning of your energy system for your long-term health and well-being.

Choose when and how often you’re exposed to the News and you will find that your overall outlook on life will improve plus you’ll find yourself forming your own opinions versus those thrust upon you by the mainstream media.

Here is some EFT that may help with the effect of News on your nervous system. Using this EFT tapping points guide, start and continue tapping on the indicated points while saying:

Continue for another round:

Try tapping while you watch TV and notice just how much your system relaxes and releases. You will be surprised and empowered. Remember you have choice and responsibility for your own well-being.Related Posts:

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