Striving: When are You Enough?
Striving is that feeling that you have to have more, do more, or be more. It’s that feeling that just over the hill is the pot of gold and if you can just push on for a little longer you will receive the rewards. We can end up striving because of delayed gratification. That principle that says you can’t be happy until…
I got told a lot of this when growing up. If you study hard in school you will get into University. So I focused on my studies and disciplined myself to work hard until Uni. Then when I got to Uni, I was told that, if you work hard at Uni, you’ll get a good job. So I studied hard at Uni and passed all my subjects.
Then you get a job and your told, work hard, sacrifice, and you’ll get a promotion. So you work hard and sacrifice your personal and social life until you get that promotion. Then another carrot is dangled in front of you and the pattern repeats until retirement when you are finally given permission to relax and enjoy life. But how many years have you missed out on while you were focusing on the future, on being happy when?
So when are you allowed to feel happy? When is it Ok to stop and enjoy the moment? When is what you’ve done enough? When are you allowed to feel that you are enough?
Self improvement can be a similar striving trap: “I just need to read one more book, attend one more seminar, learn one more technique and then I’ll be … enough? For what?”
I found this feeling of striving manifested in my body with shin splints. That painful feeling in the front of your shins that makes it very painful to run and even walk. My brain wanted to go faster, to be somewhere ahead of me now, but my body wouldn’t cooperate.
I believe that is one feeling we are striving for. That feeling of being enough right now. Here’s how to apply EFT to the causes of striving. Use this EFT tapping points guide:
| Karate Chop: | Even though I don’t yet feel that I know enough to completely accept myself, I accept myself anyway. Even though I think I need to know more, be more, or do more before I can accept myself as enough, I choose to start loving and accepting myself right now. Even though there is always more to be done, I choose to find ways to enjoy and be happy now while doing it. |
| Head: | Never going to be enough |
| Eyebrows: | Not allowed to accept that I’m enough |
| Side of Eyes: | Will I lose my motivation if I accept that I am enough right now? |
| Under Eyes: | So much attention on the future that I’m missing out on this moment |
| Under Nose: | I’ve never been enough just as I am, I’m always going to be enough later |
| Chin Point: | Never got 100% in school and even then I might have been expected to get 110% |
| Collarbones: | So tired of continuously striving |
| Under Arms: | How would it feel to be enough right now? |
| Wrist Points: | Even though I still feel a little unsure about feeling like I’m enough, I choose to explore the feeling and the joy that it brings |
Western culture is driven by striving and needing more. Other cultures can teach us not only about having enough but also about accepting ourselves as enough right now. Let me know what comes up for you as you tap through this sequence. If further feelings arise be sure to continue tapping until you uncover all the layers.
Related Posts:
- Missing someone at Christmas?
- How to Take a Break and Enjoy It!
- What’s wrong with you?
- What are you doing because you think you should?
- Using EFT with a Doctor’s Diagnosis
Tags: self improvement, striving
