I want to help people but everyone says I should get a real job.
Many of us who know and use EFT have a desire to help others. But how do we balance this calling with our responsibilities and duties as adults? Here’s an extract from an email I received from a recent newsletter subscriber:
I have a really strong desire, calling if you wish, to help others and not in the ‘conventional’ sense – and I believe this is what has drawn me to EFT as well as many other alternative modalities. I feel constantly torn between wanting to make a difference and thinking I should get a ‘real’ job. I’m always battling against myself and my wish to move forward. I know I can make a difference I just have to convince myself I can do it!
I’m an unemployed, single parent – I feel very limited as to what I’m able to achieve with very limited income and feel discriminated against because of this – my choices and opportunities are thus very limited accordingly. I feel a burden on society and feel pressured by family and social security to just ‘get a job’ – so I’m torn between my ‘duty’ & ‘expectations’ and my soul’s desire.
Here was my response, “I can very much relate to what you are going through with the conflict of wanting to help people versus getting a ‘real job’. Regardless of appearances, for the last 3 years that since I started Tap4Health, I have been scratching, scraping, negotiating, and sometimes failing to make ends meet each month. This has put a horrendous stress on my mind and body. If it were not for energy techniques such as EFT I would have given up long ago. Even this week, I went for an interview for a full time IT contract so that I can have some consistent income and catch up on debts that are backing up. I’m not giving up on Tap4Health! No way! I’m finding a way to support myself financially and hence mentally, emotionally, and physically while I continue to build my practice. Yes I’ll have to do even more work in the short term but I know my purpose for working.
What I’m saying is that being self-employed and building a business is very hard. There is a reason that 95% of business fail within the first 2 years and 98% within 5 years. And here’s something that makes it even clearer: “It’s not how good you are at something (e.g. EFT); it’s how good you are at marketing what you do that determines your success.”
I know this may not be what you want to hear. There is a lot of stuff out there about “Do what you love, and the money will follow.” That has not been my experience. Nor the experience of the people I know who are very successful. I know of only handful of EFTers who make a living solely from EFT. One of them worked a full time job for the first 5 years of building his practice and then part time for another 2 years before finally going full time.
You might also think, “Well, Rod must still have some limiting beliefs about his income or he’s not doing that law of attraction thing right.” Maybe. The landlord, banks and credit card companies don’t care about those things and won’t wait while you sort them out. They just care about whether you pay your bills or not.
Having a ‘day job’ while you continue to build your EFT and business skills(!) is being a responsible adult (more on this in a minute). You can enjoy any job if you are doing it for a purpose. I don’t like the idea of doing the type of IT work I used to do but I know that I’m doing it to help me build my business even faster. By clearing debts and having the income to do more marketing means that I can build my practice even faster. Try to build the practice and live off the income at the same time is a really hard way to do it.
Further, on being a responsible adult who fulfils their duties and expectations, it’s worth using EFT to tap on the resistance to taking responsibility. Anything we had too much of as a child we tend to resist as an adult. If you took on or felt you had lots of responsibility as a child then you may resist being a responsible adult. Find some specific events from your childhood when you felt like you had to be responsible and tap around those events. Also, tap on the conflict you feel at getting a job versus doing your calling. Remember that you are doing your day job with a purpose to meet your needs and support yourself and your family while you build your practice. It’s great if you can get a job that will help you learn the business skills you need to be successful in your own business. Again, focus on working with a purpose.
The world needs people like you who have such an open heart and desire to help others. And, taking care of yourself is not being selfish! You cannot help others if you are not taking good care of yourself. We all have the capacity to give but if we ourselves are not taken care of then we have a very limited capacity to help others. The more we help ourselves the more we can help others. Would you rather write a cheque to your favourite charity for $10 or for $1,000? Only the person who has taken good care of themselves can do the later.
It will take hard work to move from where you are now to where you want to be. If that feels overwhelming or tiring then tap on that. Focus on making some small progress towards your dreams every day while taking care of yourself on every level and your life WILL TRANSFORM. It all takes time so take care of yourself as you continue on your journey.”
I’m curious about your experience. How do you react to the above? Let me know your thoughts in the comments.
March 6th, 2009 at 2:04 am
Great post, Rod. One bit in particular jumped out at me: we’ll be resistant toward whatever we had too much of in childhood. I suppose I knew that on some level, but being faced with the words made me understand it in a whole new way.
Thanks for that, and for being honest about your journey. Best of luck to you in doing what needs to be done so that your calling can continue!
March 25th, 2009 at 12:07 am
One of the most powerful tools you posess, Rod, for building your business is your knowledge of EFT. By tapping away the negative feelings – combined with the good sense to continue your “day job”, you’ll see steady progress.
April 16th, 2009 at 10:05 pm
Very interesting post Rod.
My experience is similar to yours in that working as an energy therapist just was too hard. Like you, the bills mounted and I rarely had disposable income. finally, I bit the bullet and got a ‘real’ job that now puts me in a healthy financial position. Interestingly, I had to learn responsibility for myself and my actions. getting this job helped me to develop responsibility and I faced many hurdles that I tapped on regularly. Clearing my issues was a journey in itself as i grew in my job.
By the way, my experience is that being of service to others does work when the income is already there. I can now do EFT at my leisure, giving it for free or accepting whatever the person can exchange my energy for.
All the best,
Richard
August 3rd, 2009 at 5:57 am
Thanks very much for this. It helps me feel not so bad about going back to my “day-job”, although it still distresses me greatly (yeah I’ll tap on that and its historical roots). WHYYYY can’t I make EFT work for me? but hey – I love and accept myself anyway!
I really enjoy reading your posts, they are very helpful.
August 3rd, 2009 at 6:36 am
@Rachel As Richard has said above, it is amazing how much easier you EFT work (including attracting clients) becomes when you remove the financial stress by have another source of income.
Asking “Why” questions, such as “Why can’t I make EFT work for me?”, can only give you answers that are past focused and may be never ending as the brain will always do it’s best to come up with an answer to the question you ask.
May I suggest that you ask a different question in terms of “getting EFT to work for you”? You can focus on solution-focused questions such as “How would I notice if things improved just a little bit in terms of EFT working for me?” or “How can I enjoy my day job AND contributing to others with EFT?”
May 25th, 2010 at 12:22 pm
What a revealing post.
I have created 15+ businesses, most of which have been very successful. It has made me think I knew everything about marketing; but this energy business has given me a very rude awakening.
It’s not that we don’t know what marketing to do to attract customers so much as the cost of doing so. The reason for this is that we have to educate the market. You may have noticed:
Customers are not lining up at the door each morning!
Established business practice says do not go into an SME start-up if you have to educate the market. Leave it to a corporate to do the educating and then come along as a ‘me too’ and hitch-hike on theirs coat-tails.
The thing that is even more irrational about us EFTers is that we are funding the public education on an individual piece meal basis instead of pooling our resources. Therefore our costs are even higher and the results are conversely abysmal.
So after having read this article, I’m off to get a real job to pay for the rent and overheads on my practice whilst I continue to educate the market.
One day they’ll be lining up at the door.
May 25th, 2010 at 2:15 pm
@anthony Thanks for that incredible insight on having to educate the public about EFT before they line up at our door. We are so far ahead of the curve that we need to do whatever it takes to survive until the rest of the world catches up. My focus has changed to doing more speaking, workshops and video to help educate people. I, like you, look forward to the day that everyone know about EFT and its benefits and are lining up at our door!